I didn't get my first job until I was 17 years old (partially because I didn't have a car. That came when I was 18) But during the (nearly) 3 years I've managed to retain employment I've had 3 big-girl salary-type jobs, four/five jobs which paid a stipend, as well as numerous volunteer jobs (because I am gullible/charitable/a college student, and they tell me that exposure is worth the free labor...Please hire me. Please.) and through this array of experiences, I feel that I've learned quite a bit about people, and life, and I'd like to share some of that with you lovely people.
1. The Scariest Part About Working With Children is Working With Their Parents
For reference, I have been a Sunday School Teacher, a Babysitter a Vacation Bible School Counselor (and Music Director), a Girl scout Camp Counselor, a Tutor for immigrant children, and a Party Hostess at a Water park/Rec Center. I've seen children bleed, and cry, and fall out of their prosthetic limbs at high speeds. I've had children touch me with poop, try to forcibly remove my clothing, and jump into toilets... But NEVER has a child, even an injured or crying child, been so terrifying or psychologically damaging as an angry parent who feels that I've somehow wronged them/their offspring.
And why? Because grown-ups suck. Kind of. Probably, it's because PEOPLE suck, and they are infinitely more likely to get defensive and jump to (OFTEN ABSURD) conclusions when it comes to something as precious as their kids. Besides, some people really seem to get off on "taking a stand" and going nuts on their caregivers, possibly because it feels like they're doing something heroic for their kids. Everybody wants to be the hero, even if "being the hero" means making an eighth grade vacation bible school volunteer feel like poop because she didn't know you don't let your kid eat marshmallows.
BONUS in any capacity, working in the service industry means that everyone is smarter and better than you. Since the parents paid for whatever you are providing, and you are younger (therefore stupider) than they, you must bow down and accept their will, whether or not it completely breaks every rule that keeps you employed.
ALSO a terrifically sad number of people use their children as a sort of status symbol. This was something I noticed especially while I was working kids' parties. Conversations between parents often went something like this:
"Well when Andrea went to [YOUR KID]'s party, she said there wasn't really a distinctive theme [Because that's how my seven year old speaks] so in order to make HER party BETTER than [YOUR KID]'s party, I bought $150 worth of Disney princess decorations that she will look at for all of 30 seconds before begging to jump into the pool, but I'll ignore her and try my best to make sure that all the OTHER children are extremely interested in the decorations/activities/party-favors so that they'll tell their parents how much better this party was than any other child's party, and their parents will feel inferior to ME. THE MEGAMOM!!... Also, I have a separate pinata for boys and girls because not only do I like to encourage gender stereotypes at a tender age, but I love antagonizing the hostess, WHO SHOCKINGLY DOESN'T HAVE A PLACE TO HANG PINATAS INDOORS- LETS JUST HOOK IT ONTO THE DROP CEILING WHILE SHE'S AWAY AND DESTROY THE BUILDING THEN BLAME HER."
...Okay, so I got a little carried away, but that's the gist.
(And for the record, the many experiences I've had with parents who don't speak much/any English have not a single incident in their number which can hold up to the more terrifying encounters with those who could effectively communicate. Communication is key.)
2. People Will Always Expect More Than What They Paid For
"Well I've already bought so many drinks, can you just bring out a large order of onion rings?"
Actually, you've spent $6.50 on drinks so far, which is how much a large order of onion rings costs. So no.
"An hour and a half with the room just isn't enough time, at least let us leave our stuff in here"
1.5 hours was in the contract you signed when you paid for the party space, and I need time to clean the massive mess you've left before prepping for the next party. Which is in fifteen minutes.
"What, $40,000 isn't enough to get me another #^@%ing study room?" (direct quote)
No. Just because you pay tuition, doesn't mean you deserve extra study room time during finals week... we are all students here, by the way.
Whether they expect you to stay before/after to watch their children, walk into the theater after the doors have closed, check out reference materials, use the slide that's only for kids as tall as the plywood giraffe, tour through the private dressing rooms, or somehow make the meal they ordered cheaper because they've been hitting on you the entire time they've been seated...Every person thinks that their money is worth more than anyone else's money. Even me. Even you. In any job where you give people things they've paid for, you will perpetually play the part of the messenger being shot. For some reason, everyone will have it in their heads that everyone around them is getting cut a better deal, or that you're somehow treating them unfairly by giving them exactly what they paid for and nothing else.
3. Patrons/Customers/Consumers Find Simple Tasks Extremely Confusing
One element I've encountered at every place of employment/service is that people love to make their problems someone else's problem. Nobody wants you to tell them where the plastic silverware is, they want you to reach across the table and pick it up for them. Nobody wants to LEARN how to use a scanner. They want you to take their 30-page document across the library and scan it for them. And why sign into the sign-in sheet when you could just as easily dictate all your information to the volunteer, who could have been accomplishing so many other things in that moment. The trick is finding a way to make them feel silly for not being able to complete these incredibly simple tasks on their own. Also, Capri Suns are made for children. A shocking number of people seemed to think it absurd that I should allow the children at their parties to navigate such a treacherous device as a pointed straw independently...Sheesh!
4. If You Don't Stand Up For Yourself, Nobody Will
This year I found out that a job I performed last year has been given to three people (and the Internet, which we didn't have a year ago in that building) each of whom will individually receive exactly the same pay I did for doing all their jobs at once.
For months last summer, I worked for a boss who would scream in my face, grab me, call me stupid, and reprimand me in front of customers; often for 'not doing' jobs which I had already completed.
Countless times, I've rearranged my social life and my sleep/study schedule to accommodate work schedules which change at the drop of a hat... Like today. When I got my 6 hour work-time less than 12 hours in advance.
These are only a few examples of the many ways I've laid down and allowed myself to be a doormat in the professional world. It's difficult when you're strapped for cash, and nobody is hiring, and your minimum-wage position could easily be filled by anyone who comes in off the street. However, if you allow yourself to think this way, that you deserve to be treated poorly, or that if you don't accept poor treatment you aren't worth being paid, you WILL encounter people who will treat you worse than they would treat the jank soda machine in the corner (Which makes sense: Damage the soda machine=PAY for the soda machine. Damage your dignity=a laugh) ...and they will stomp all over you with a smile on their face. Because nobody knows they're the bad guy until you TELL them they're the bad guy. (Usually they won't believe you right away. Or usually, they just ignore you.)
For a while I figured being treated poorly was a part of any job. If you're a waitress, people are going to objectify you and make insulting jokes. If you're working kid's parties, the weird uncle might grab your ass, parents will expect you the bend the rules to make their kid's day special. If the schedule is in flux, you might have to drop everything and work till 3am. If people are upset, they are going to talk down to you, and get angry, and possibly threaten you, and it's your job to sit there and take it... And to some extent, those elements ARE part of the job. Having been through them, though, I am now PREPARED to deal with these types of situations, but I've realized that "dealing with them" is not the same as "allowing them to continue." I wish I'd had the guts to stand up for myself when customers treated me rudely, or ran out without paying. I wish I'd been able to tell my supervisor that I can't live my life around his schedule, or tell my boss that if I'm going to do three people's jobs I need to get paid for more than one, etc. In all of those situations I feared that speaking up would mean losing my job, or making my superiors upset with me, and it may well have, but looking back, I am far more ashamed of letting people walk all over me than I would have been if I'd spoken up for myself and lost a job.
Hopefully some other doormat out there will see this and realize they deserve better, because I certainly wish I'd known a little sooner.
~Alicen
Today I got off
of work early, so that's why
This is poorly ed(ited)...I wrote this at the library
