Basic Templates For Interations With Non-Theatre People

NTP= Non-Theatre Person; Me= myself

NTP: Oh, so you're a student here! What do you study?
Me: I'm a Theatre and English Major
NTP: Oh. That's... fun.

NTP: So you wanna be a teacher.
Me: Actually I was considering pursuing a career in acting or screenwriting; really there are-
NTP: Right. A teacher.

NTP: Oh. You're one of those.

NTP: OH! Can you, like, act for us?? Sing? Dance? Talk in an accent? Stand on your head? Do you juggle??!? DANCE MONKEY, DANCE!

NTP: What do you study?
Me: English and Theatre
NTP: Oh really? What does your family think?
Do they try to get you to switch majors? Do they tell you that you're wasting your life and your education?

NTP: Sooo do you do, like, plays and stuff?
Me: ...

NTP: Can you cry on command?? CRY FOR US!

Me: I study English and Theatre
NTP: HA!! Well good luck finding a JOB that way!!
Me: Actually, the employment rate for people with a degree in Theatre is at a record high, and-
NTP: Ohhhh sure it is, sweetheart. You just keep telling yourself that.

NTP: You're a Theatre Major? HAVE YOU SEEN LES MIS?!

NTP: Oooh, you're at SLU, huh? What are you studying?
Me: English and Theatre!
NTP: ... Are you SURE that's what you wanna do?

NTP: She's a Theatre Major, how do we know she's not just acting right now?... Is this really you, or are you acting?

Me: I study Theatre and Eng-
NTP: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAHAAA

NTP: I bet you guys have WILD parties... will you take me?

Me: I'm a sophomore studying English and Theatre
NTP: Yeah, we'll see how long that lasts

NTP: All of your dreams are going to be crushed and you will be left with nothing.

Me: I'm an English and Theatre major
NTP: Well that's unfortunate. *leaves*

~Ali

My cat has stolen
All of my meatloaf, I wish
She'd saved some for me