Today, I was taught a lesson in unnecessary enthusiasm, and it was beautiful. It began when my uncle came to visit me at school. He lives in Vermont now, but today Scott Trade flew him in for a job interview (cool, right?) and since his flight home wasn't until evening, he had some time to come hang out with me on campus. We got lunch together in the student center, then explored a bit, and we ended up in the theater.
This was (Today) right after auditions and callbacks had commenced, and before cast lists got posted (which is tomorrow) so I was feeling a little insecure about my place/lack thereof in the department. Besides that, I know he has some friends in the arts community, and as a kid he had taken me on backstage tours of the Muny (it's a huge deal in St. Louis) so I was a little wary of what he might think of my school's high-school-cafeteria-turned-theater.
To my surprise, though, our facility absolutely delighted him. He was so happy, just to see me in that environment. Without even knowing whether or not I'll be able to preform on the stage we were touring, he lit up and talked about how proud of me he was!
This was such a different attitude from the one I'd been mired in all week - fretting and fussing and hopelessly struggling to measure up to expectations I wasn't fully clued-in to. What a reality check, to step back and just appreciate what an incredible thing it is to get be educated in this environment at all. To tell the truth, I'm a little embarrassed to think about how self-centered my attitude has been all throughout audition week. That gratitude is refreshing.
The reason I named this blog "Lessons in Unnecessary Enthusiasm" is because I have a tendency to get overly excited about what are considered "small things." If people are in a position where they have to say something they like about me, it's usually that I've got no reservations celebrating the little victories, or happy coincidences, or everyday beauties that people normally don't take time to appreciate (it's that, or "you're nice"... depends on the person).
The way I see it, though, the only way to live joyfully is to turn your cluttered backpack of a life upside down and shake it with everything you've got in you until every single lucky penny, and half-birthday, and secret smile sits on your floor- ready to be lifted up and made it's own confetti-covered float of that day's parade. I'm sure there are people who disagree (either with that thought, or with the convoluded analogy I used to express it) and that's okay. If they ever wanna join my life-party philosophy, though, I'd celebrate their entrance.
Today was a great reminder though, of how important it is to celebrate what we have already. No matter what sort of crap you might have going on, there is something wonderful to be grateful for. Thanks to my Uncle and a few other lovely people for reminding me of that today.
~Alicen
Sorry for having less giggles and more typos today. You may expect better of me when I'm less stressed... which is code for never. You still get a haiku though:
Got so much Homework
Why am I not doing it?
Cuz my dog insists.
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